“Something wrong?”, she asked.
Nope, I’m fine.
Today’s lie.
“I feel tension.”, she said.
No tension, on my part.
No, what you are feeling.
Is the space between the truth, and today’s lie.
.
thoughts
so it’s been a while, but i haven’t left you
things have been moving, impossibly slow, but moving nonetheless, and i’m grateful for it
with today being mother’s day, it has been weird, in many ways i have had to mother myself, but yet i love and respect my mother, but old wounds remain
i really want to move……
i need new positive energy, new faces, new surroundings……
i’m rambling a bit, but that’s ok…..cause this is my space to do that….
sometimes i wish, i had just some of the answers……
See, Seen, Saw
Been feeling, just feeling.
Ok, thinking.
All about bits and parts.
Hair so thick. Kink.
Lips that sit. Belly.
Those old voices, that creep.
Telling me messages that I don’t wanna hear.
And there she is. Her. 13 year old me. 30 year old me.
I just want to beautiful.
I don’t want to fight feelings of inadequacy; served to me on a platter.
Yum. De-fucking-licious.
Mass corporations, invested, in those alone moments in front of mirrors.
Stuck. Wishing. I just wanna…..
If I was, then….I would be….
More like slender frame.
More like every MORE….
Cause I just wanna….be visible.
Your Life
😉
When The World Won’t Fit
who gave you the nerve black girl?
who told you that you could have a dream?
who told you that you could want more for yourself?
how does it feel to settle yourself in spaces, where settling is no longer an option?
The Things We Do
there are no villians
or victors
just two people that tried with all their might.
and the act of trying, proved to be redemption.
the thing that keeps them from their own shadows.
it is all good.
Snow Day
Kitchen Table
at her kitchen table
i have wept.
head bowed.
the refrigerator hums.
her kitchen table is
the most permanent place, i know.
and there has always, always, ALL-WAYS
been a place for me at her table.
i look up, to eyes
which speak many things, in their glance.
and in that moment, i am
most grateful
for those eyes.
and this.
kitchen table.
Return
i’ve been asking for the answers
and. here. they. are.
but, wait…
this ain’t how i want them.
repackage, pretty up this up, please.
neatly, put away in the narrative of my life, way different, in fact opposite of this.
what’s the return policy on this?
Winning
reading “ten things to do when your life falls apart”.
writing shitty poetry on paper napkins.
feels like an early win, to me.
gettingashfree 