See, Seen, Saw

Been feeling, just feeling.

Ok, thinking.

All about bits and parts.

Hair so thick. Kink.

Lips that sit. Belly.

Those old voices, that creep.

Telling me messages that I don’t wanna hear.

And there she is. Her. 13 year old me. 30 year old me.

I just want to beautiful.

I don’t want to fight feelings of inadequacy; served to me on a platter.

Yum. De-fucking-licious.

Mass corporations, invested, in those alone moments in front of mirrors.

Stuck. Wishing. I just wanna…..

If I was, then….I would be….

More like slender frame.

More like every MORE….

Cause I just wanna….be visible.

When The World Won’t Fit

who gave you the nerve black girl?
who told you that you could have a dream?
who told you that you could want more for yourself?
how does it feel to settle yourself in spaces, where settling is no longer an option?

The Things We Do

there are no villians

or victors

just two people that tried with all their might.

and the act of trying, proved to be redemption.

the thing that keeps them from their own shadows.

it is all good.

Snow Day

Kitchen Table

at her kitchen table

i have wept.

head bowed.

the refrigerator hums.

her kitchen table is

the most permanent place, i know.

and there has always, always, ALL-WAYS

been a place for me at her table.

i look up, to eyes

which speak many things, in their glance.

and in that moment, i am

most grateful

for those eyes.

and this.

kitchen table.

Return

i’ve been asking for the answers

and. here. they. are.

but, wait…

this ain’t how i want them.

repackage, pretty up this up, please.

neatly, put away in the narrative of my life, way different, in fact opposite of this.

what’s the return policy on this?

Winning

reading “ten things to do when your life falls apart”.

writing shitty poetry on paper napkins.

feels like an early win, to me.

Simple Things

You smell of

Soap and Water

And hard times.

Getting free

this blog is a love letter to myself.

the myriad of ways that I am committed to getting free.

free of that which no longer serves me.

this blog will be a composition. it will be poems.  it will ramble.  i will pontificate. and engage anything else that speaks to and for me.

Enjoy.